Letra de All About Ruprecht

You see, my dear
Every royal family, by its nature
Has a sort of price that it must payEvery noble lineage has
One loose gene
Small as a molecule
Flitting ′round the family pool

It's the sort of thing
One sees in Appalachia
Or in the odd inbred Bichon Frise
It really can be such a
Nasty stain on the escutcheon
When a wisp of DNA
Begins to fray, then goes astray

Caligula had the temper
The Hapburgs had the chin
George the Third went cuckoo-bird
And Nero had that violin-
Richard, you′ll remember
Had the hump and
The withered limb
The Bushes of Tex
Were nervous wrecks
Because their son was dim
But look what happened to him

Alas, our family also
Carries a bit of a curse
But darling, it could be a great deal worse
Thus ends the verse

Ruprecht's all about
Sun and soda-pop
Paws on puppy-dogs, candy-canes

Ruprecht's all about
Chocolate bunnies and
Lazy afternoons and daisy-chains

With a little brother like this
You can′t help but have a heavy home
With style upon grace
And a smile upon his face
And all that′s missing is a chromosome

But Ruprecht's all about
Hugs and Valentines
That′s why people all say
"Hey Ruprecht!
You're really okay!"

Isn′t he adorable?
Ruprecht's all about hugs and valentines
Milkshake enemas
Fun and play

Ruprecht′s all about
Burmese belly-rubs
Fresh-shaved testicles on Christmas day
With a smile that's a mile and a half
And a laugh and a hearty
Howdja do? (Howdya do!)
It's a cinch that we will be
A happy family
One plus one plus one
Makes two!

Ruprecht′s crazy ′bout taxidermy
And KY Jelly on a rubber glove!
So give him a chance or three

Let him get to know you
And you'll agree
That Ruprecht′s
All about love

Who's the happy chappy with the ulcerated ear?
Ruprecht?
Who stays awake all night hollering out with fear?
Ruprecht?

Who likes to spend every Saturday at the abattoir?
Who gets the cattle-prod if he tries to hump the samovar?
Who likes to save up all his farts in a Mason jar?
You guessed it!

It′s Ruprecht
My buddy Ruprecht
I like him!
Ruprecht
And that's about all