Video de A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying

[Verse 1:]
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love
It had been a while
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
Since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10
I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
Through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips
Milky white skin and baby blue eyes
Name was Russell

[Hook]
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[Verse 2:]
Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
This pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
Like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin'
Cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern
And I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask
As I do my little kooky dance
And then she told me to shush
I guess she could sense my desperation
'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl

[Hook]

[Verse 3:]
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
Is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
With a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
Resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean
Got to nail her back at her trailer
Heh. That rhymes
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
When I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula

[Hook]

[Verse 4:]
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch
Gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb"
When I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton
Well, my heart just dropped
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
And polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
In an eighteen-wheeler
I never thought missing children could be so sexy
Did I say that out loud?

[Hook]